Cranial Dys-function

Okay, so one of my goals for this year was to enter two to three illustration contests. (I attempted one earlier this year, for SCBWI. Honestly, after looking at my entry- what was I thinking? It stunk! I'm still struggling with my "style" or whatever you want to call it. Oddly enough, I've had several people who have complimented me on my "style" and the direction that it's going. Funny- I thought I had suspended my style, and was just freestyling whatever came out of my weird little head! I supposed style is something that is intrinsic and can't really be controlled. How do you refine it then? Oh yeah...Back to my point)

I just checked the SCBWI homepage and I saw that a new contest was just posted there. I want to participate in that one, as well as the one Penelope is doing. So, I now have two deadlines I'm working towards.

I sat in my comfy chair banging my head, hoping ideas would rattle loose, and I became frustrated. ("No," you gasp! Frustrated?) What the heck is my style? What am I trying to convey? Then, I said to myself, "I don't think I like having to draw what other people want!"

Uh, what? What just came out of your mouth? You don't like what? Doing the exact thing you're trying to work towards accomplishing professionally? Ex-squeeze me??? Yeah, that must have been a mild brain fart, because that is exactly what came out of my mouth. It must have been the head-banging, because how could I have said that???

Don't worry, I've set myself straight and am furiously doodling ideas as I type. (Look ma! I'm multi-talented!) Forget the style issue, I'm just trying to set down on paper at least a handful of solid ideas that I can hopefully work on this weekend. And, NO head-banging!